


Cards on the Table

by Lothiriel84



Category: The Mentalist
Genre: Bets, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-20
Updated: 2013-02-20
Packaged: 2017-11-29 22:46:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/692419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lothiriel84/pseuds/Lothiriel84
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I've been told you're quite the fine gambler. This might be your once-in-a-lifetime chance to get control over me."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cards on the Table

**Author's Note:**

> This story has been inspired by a sneak peek from 5x14, though it has nothing to do with that episode. Title borrowed from the namesake book by Agatha Christie.

"A bet? Really, Jane?"

He smirked, being in no way daunted by Bertram's scornful glance. "I've been told you're quite the fine gambler. This might be your once-in-a-lifetime chance to get control over me."

"Or to make an utter fool of myself. Come on, even a kid would know better than playing poker with an inveterate liar – and a honed conman, for that matter."

Jane tapped his fingers lightly at the corner of his mouth. "I see. Clearly your poker skills aren't as good as you use to boast about."

"Who says I boast? Lisbon?"

"She wouldn't dream of it. Poor thing, she even had to take the day off because she's not feeling well. And that's nothing short of sheer torture for a workaholic like her."

Bertram disregarded Lisbon's feelings with a wave of his hand. "This has nothing to do with skills. I don't play with tricksters, that's all."

"Fine." He let out an exaggerated sigh and made to the door. "Who'd have said that the CBI director is afraid of a simple consultant?"

"Are you trying to insult me, by any chance?"

"Why would I want to do anything of the kind?"

It was clear enough that Gale Bertram was right on the verge of losing his temper. "You'd better not. I think you still owe me big time, since I've been the one who saved your sorry ass from jail the last time around."

"Surely it wouldn't have made a good impression on the public if you hadn't."

"Jane…"

This time he caught the hint and simply dropped the matter. "Red John belongs to the past now. We should be thinking about the future instead."

He could see the exact moment when the other man eventually gave in. "Are you seriously telling me that you're going to behave for the rest of your consulting career with the CBI?"

"If you win the poker game, then I'll do."

"What if I don't?"

His face broke into a wide grin. "I won't ask for anything illegal, I promise."

"And you're not going to cheat either?"

"Scout's honor."

Jane fled from the office before Bertram could seriously consider throwing a stapler at him.

xxx

"Four of a kind."

"Straight flush."

Director Bertram couldn't help but groan. "I thought you were bluffing."

"A fake tell. That's how professional players trick marks."

"You said you wouldn't cheat."

"That wasn't cheating," Jane explained as he collected the cards and shuffled them. "Another game?"

"I think I've had enough. Who knows what kind of trouble I might get into otherwise."

He grinned, then stood up and stretched. "Time to call it a night. I still have to show up at the office bright and early tomorrow morning."

"Yeah. Like you don't spend the better part of your working hours stretched on that piece of junk you call a couch."

"I feel insulted on my couch's behalf. It's far from being a piece of junk."

"Quit playing cat and mouse. Just stake your claim, so that I can figure how to apply proper damage limitation."

"Always so mistrustful of me, Gale."

"And for good reasons too. Out with it, Jane – what do you want?"

"Oh, it's a trifle, really." He could see Bertram steel himself to face the worst. "I just need you to bend the rules a bit, that's all."

The other's expression turned ever more sour, were that possible. "I knew it."

"Well, since the rules are quite blurred themselves, that shouldn't be too difficult."

"Which rule are we talking about?"

"I'm sure you can guess that easily enough."

"Tell me it's not the one about relationships between coworkers."

Jane grinned once more. "I've always known you're more quick-witted than people ordinarily give you credit for."

"I can't bend that rule. It wouldn't be fair on other agents who've been in the same situation themselves."

"Technically I'm not an agent. And you could always change the terms of my employment, so that we won't be breaking any rule at all."

Bertram ran a nervous hand on his brow. "You should do Lisbon a favor and leave her alone instead."

"Let's set this straight. I want to marry the mother of my child, and she wants the same too. Either you allow us to do that, or I'll never set foot into the CBI again."

"The mother of your… what?"

The CBI director spluttering with shock was a sight that very few people had ever had the chance to witness – and one that had Jane amused beyond words.

"Think about all the cases that have been solved with my help. Are you willing to give up one of the highest closure rates in the whole department?"

Lacking another scapegoat, Bertram's glare landed on the deck of cards. "I should have seen this coming right from the moment Agent Lisbon called in sick."

"Cheer up, Gale. That means I'll have to behave all the same, lest my soon-to-be wife kicks me out of our apartment."

"Get the hell out of my sight before I change my mind!"

He knew this was the closest to admitting defeat that Bertram would ever get. He decided not to push his luck by making some witty remark, and headed for the door instead.

"Good night, Director."

Jane was almost sure he could hear a soft thud as he left the room – like that produced by a head connecting to the desk. He smirked and shut the door behind him.


End file.
